Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
