Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize