My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
