The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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