It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
