ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
