I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
