I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
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I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
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Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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