Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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