At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
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I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
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I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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