3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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