She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
