I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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