You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
