Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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