hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
