And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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