Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
