Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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