I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
