Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
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