You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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