Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
