Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
