none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
