DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
