I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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