I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
