We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
