After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
