Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
