god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
