Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
