Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
