My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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