just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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