i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
