before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
