Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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