Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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