Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
