Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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