Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
