If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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