the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
