ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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