JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
