I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
