College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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