Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
