so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
