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She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
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