I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
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I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.