Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.