I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
