I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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