Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
