Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
