I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
it was like eating out sand paper
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
